Dare to write your own rule-book!

When we are born, gray matter in our brain is a blank sheet of paper, and ready to be carved. Our subconscious mind is ready to accept any thoughts. It doesn’t know how to categorize those incoming thoughts as positive or negative. Hence, it accepts everything for a fact (as positive). This happens for the first 5 to 8 years of our lifetime.

The model of our brain is written in those 5 years. That is why it is very important to be careful about how parents and teachers treat their kids in those early years.

Whatever is fed into the kid’s mind in those first 5 to 8 years will be a hard truth for him. He will analyze the world based on that rule-book and suddenly the world will become polarized for him. He will start defining the things and people in the world as negative/positive, likes/dislikes, or love/hate based on that conditioning.

If you look inside yourself, you will notice that for some reason you have the tendency to assume a few things in life as hard truth even though you don’t have facts to support them.

For example, fear of water, fear of heights, fear of God, disliking the places other than home, thought of your parents being always right or thinking of yourself as weak, thin, fat, lazy, etc.

You will find yourself believing in such things sub-consciously without thinking. The reason for this is that it was stored in your memory as truth when your brain was all open to accept inputs.

For the same reason, so many people find it extremely difficult to accept something which goes against their hardwired rule-book. The reason could be anything including fear, ego or assumption.


To put it simply, your life’s outline is decided in the first 5 to 8 years even without your approval. It seems scary, right?


Indeed it is.

Some people are too brave, some are way timid. Some are aggressive, some are defensive. Some are leaders, some are followers and so on and so forth.

Nobody chooses deliberately to be timid or a follower. But, it was explained to him as truth in those early years of his life and he follows that path all lifelong.
More often than not, a poor person’s child ends up poor and rich person’s child ends up rich. That is why the gap between rich and poor is always increasing.

It’s a chain reaction. Poor people stay poor because their thoughts are poor. They were convinced of taking fewer risks because they think life is harsh. They accept their faults because they think – that is their destiny.


But there are a few people who dare to challenge what is given to them. They deny the already defined rule-book for them. They love to write their own rules by their own means. And, to do that, they make efforts to reconfigure their sub-conscious mind’s rule-book. These are the people who go into history books.

Finally, a humble request. Don’t get your life defined by the rule-book written by somebody else.

U-Can

To do or not to do!

Each one of us has a spark to new skills, be it singing, dancing, playing any sports, or honing public speaking skills.

The initial few days of learning that particular skill are really daunting.
All the skepticism hovers our mind. We try to compare our ‘newly thought skill’ with a connoisseur of that field.
We judge our selves and somehow do our work reluctantly. I have gone through all these experiences, and after speaking with friends and family received similar feedback. This experience is backed by a couple of books which I read as well. So, on a high-level similar thought process is experienced by the majority of people. One thing which is 100% true is that when we master the skill, life becomes awesome and we enjoy it very dearly.

The tricky part is going through the process and experiencing all these not so motivating thoughts, and how to stick to a routine so that we can learn the skill.

Let me share one of my experiences where I learned one skill a couple of years back and then the going through the recent one which triggered my neurons to write the articles.

2016 was the year when I thought to learn swimming. First thing I was doing is making a group of close friends so that it becomes comfortable going together for the class, which I later felt is not a very effective step.
Going with a group can be tricky when others are not very keen to learn swimming and just joining you for namesake. Take the bold step. Rather than looking for friends to accompany you, find the training center and register as per your time schedule. Initial few days will be very hard to quantify your progress which is normal, but enjoy the process. Waking up early and getting ready for classes and enjoying the practice session is very important. Watching youtube videos, reading extensively about swimming helps. Make it a personal experience so that you and swimming are not separate. Eventually, I was able to swim alone on the 27th day, maybe it was quick may be long, but eventually today I can swim which is indeed a blissful experience. People when jumps and forays all the hurdles, the new skill is waiting to embrace you. Do not stop in the middle and make daily progress.

The new skill which I am trying to learn is sketching, somehow it was in my mind that I cannot sketch, but after watching one of the TED talks, I was determined to draw. I wouldn’t say it was very easy, but yes I am in the process of learning it and determined to sketch freely! I am following a couple of blogs, YouTube videos, and articles. I must say, it was a really enriching experience.

Below is a recent sample exercise of drawing circles and sketches, which is indeed a lot better than my previous drawing skill !!

U-Can

Why the habit of ‘Reading Books’ is not so common?

We all know the importance of books in our lives. All successful individuals have this one common trait which helped them achieve extraordinary heights in their life and career. We admire these people who happen to read a lot of books. Don’t we?

Having said that, isn’t it ironic that we couldn’t get enough motivation to pick up that first book which has the potential to take our life to the next level?

Listed below are the top 4 reasons among many others, which stop us from getting that much needed inspiration and disguise us into living a mediocre life.

1. Lack of questioning existing beliefs

People have beliefs. And, those beliefs are very dear to them. We have this tendency to hang out with people who resonate with our belief system. No one likes to be challenged.

That is the core of the problem!

People want the answers but they don’t know what to ask. You are never going to reach the depth of something by asking superficial questions. You got to ask those tough questions.
Before actually looking for answers, the first step is to ask good questions. And, to ask good questions you need to change your mindset. Asking questions hurt our ego, challenge our beliefs and disrupt our world view. Learn to question everything. Don’t take anything for granted. And, you will automatically gravitate towards good books.

2. Immediate outcome is not visible

In this fast result-oriented life, we trust the processes which can give us immediate results. However, knowledge gathered from books doesn’t work that way. It manifests itself after a couple of years. Good books you read today will help you solve problems 5 years down the road.
We all face tricky problems everyday which we find ourselves totally unequipped to deal with. This happens because we didn’t read those books 5 years back which could have helped us today to solve the current problems in life. Think about it.

How can you put your future on the toss by making this choice of not reading books today?

3. Surrounded by people who don’t read

There is a great saying :

We are the average of 5 people we hangout with the most.

Look around and you won’t be able to find a single enthusiastic book reader in your vast circle of acquaintances. What does it tell you?

Very few people actually read with an intention to learn and grow.

Now, you have two options. Keep spending most of the time with those 5 people and be the average of them or start looking for these book lovers. Try to get to know them. Remember, knowledge can be infectious. Sit with these people and you will soon get infected by book reading habit.

4. Find it hard to figure out what to read

Many of us know that reading is essential for the intellectual growth, but they couldn’t figure out what to read. If you are in this situation, give a pat on your back. You are one step closer to getting control of your own destiny. The answer to this puzzle is – if you are stuck on this step of “what to read” that means you haven’t worked on above 3 points mentioned. As soon as you fix the above 3 points (mentioned in this article), you will never find it difficult to know what to read.

Happy Reading!!

U-Can

Journey of life

We love train journeys. Don’t we? It’s a great way to sit back, relax and enjoy the beautiful scenes, the greenery, lakes, rivers, mountains and so much more. More often than not, we get this rush of feelings that forces us to think, “what if we were there in those serene places, or how it would feel to walk on those empty green farms or to sit at those river banks and hear the calmness of the water?

So much we watch during our train journeys which we know we are never going to feel or be part of, but just a look of it gives us that thrill and reminds us of how beautiful our mother earth is and how much we are missing out by being stuck in our hollow, mechanical and mundane daily lifestyle.

Most of us live the life exactly like this. Let me put an analogy here. Train is “your boxed mindset”. Railway track is “your daily routine”. Scenery is “what we dream about – our passion, our love, over purpose, our heart’s interest”.

We are boxed in our life and have put it on auto-pilot with predefined destination. Exactly how trains are tied to their tracks with predefined destination.

We admire the view around us. We know what we love and what our hearts actually wants. But, a very few actually dare to jump out of the train to feel those beautiful places. Definitely, it involves a great amount of risk. Even then they do it. On the contrary, most of us just keep sitting in the train and happy to reach the predefined destination. How sad is that? Think about it.

How can you sit on a train and keep sitting on it when you already know the destination? Life has much more to offer. Don’t you think?

This reminds me of these beautiful quotes:

“Life is too short to be little” – Benjamin Disraeli

“For your life to be great, your faith must be bigger than your fears” – Robin Sharma

Jump out of your train right now! Stop living someone else’s life. You are just going to live ONCE.

U-Can

Quantifying every little progress is not practical

How often we judge ourselves on our little progress? Striking off the checklist when the little goal is achieved. Sometimes we are tremendously happy when the little goal is achieved and sometimes miserable when we fail to.

Let’s explore the situation when the little goal is not met which makes us little or enormously gloomy. Questions such as what went wrong? How can it be done in a better way? envelop our mind.

Frankly, the list goes on.

Firstly, I would request you to rethink whether the little goal was properly set or not and secondly whether our mind is able to quantify what we learned that particular day, which we can understand or comprehend. This reminds me of a story.A little boy used to carry his newborn calf on his shoulders and roam around the city which was exciting for him. He continued doing so every day for a long time and then one day realized that he was carrying a fully grown bull.

On the same note, let me share my story, a real one!

Swimming is indeed a very good exercise but the learning process is tricky, isn’t it? Those who are good swimmers or currently learning to swim can easily connect. The practice lessons were very difficult to interpret with our consciousness and it was puzzling what further has been learned today than the previous day. It was indeed very difficult to quantify and justify our self that we learned something new. These tiny efforts, when continued with honesty and zeal, will provide the platform and one day we will realize that we are indeed swimming.

Lastly to conclude, learning new skills is really important just don’t get demoralized by quantifying the daily progress. When the objective is clear, enjoy the process and journey instead.

Quantifying every little progress is not practical.

U-Can

Don’t be ‘JUST BUSY’

Life can be overwhelming to each one of us every now and then. Isn’t it? You always feel that there is a lot to do in so little time. Ask anyone and you will get to know that they are indeed ‘VERY VERY BUSY’.

By
doing most of things over and over again, your days, months, years and
even decades just pass by right in front of you. Suddenly, one day you
wake up and see that few people who started right where you were a
decade ago are now doing exceptionally well. A significant difference
can easily be noticed.

What happened here? Why it happens to so
many of us? Why one person in same amount of time achieves greater
heights and the other (though being very busy) couldn’t get so far and
end up being mediocre? A decade is a significant amount of time. Don’t
you think?

Arguably the best mind ever lived, Albert Einstein rightly said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
You can either decide to keep doing what you are doing and keep getting the same results or else you can test yourself in the sea of unknown. Choice is strictly yours and that makes all the difference.

One person is happy in doing same stuff which he is comfortable in and falls into the trap of ‘BEING BUSY’, while the other (the over achiever) actually is pausing at proper interval and asking important questions to himself. Questions such as – Where am I going? Am I going to do justice with my talent if I keep on doing what I do? Have I got more in myself which is worth a try? Do I want to die mediocre?

But, just asking questions is not good enough. You have to carefully listen to your inner voice. Direct yourself based on those answers you get from within. Don’t hold yourself back for anyone. Take that first step towards your dream. Constant redirection of your life is so very important. Try various things. Push your limits. Challenge your thoughts. Refine them. Meet smarter people. Learn from them. Do whatever it takes to bring the best out of you. You owe yourself this. There might be several setbacks and dead ends along the way, but, after a decade you can proudly say that,”I wasn’t ‘JUST BEING BUSY’. I was WORK IN PROGRESS”.

At the end, you won’t even believe what you achieved. Results will speak for themselves.

Good luck!

U-Can

Key to everlasting happiness : Enjoy your own company

We are social animals. We need people around us to interact with all the time. We learn from them and share our wisdom. There is nothing wrong in this, in fact its a great feeling to have. But, the problem starts when we start relying on others to make ourselves happy. No one wants to be alone. Fear makes us believe that we can only be happy if we are surrounded by people. Isolation is a doom for us. Isn’t it?

Don’t you get this strong feeling that you are trying to be a part of a crowd just so that you don’t get isolated? And, once you get into this mindset, all the problems start to occur in your life.

Craving for people around you is a disease, because, you are driven not by yourself but by others’ presence. To be around people, you try to change yourself to be one of them. You don’t like to go to parties but you do go there because everyone else is going there. You keep on doing this everyday and make it your habit. In this whole process you are literally losing your identity. You don’t even know who you really are. You are wearing a fake mask to entice people just so that you aren’t left out.

This is a serious problem most of us are going through these days. If you think about it, you are basically afraid of being left out because you are not like them. You are different and you know that. Unfortunately, crowd likes uniformity. If you are different, most probably you are going be thrown out of the herd.

Now comes your choice!

EITHER you can wear a fake mask your whole life and be like them (which 8 out of 10 people do most of the time) and eventually loose your identity OR you start to learn enjoying your own company. Its a slow process and can’t be learnt in a day. But, believe us once you learn this trait, no one can ever make you unhappy. You will get control of your life. You will be set free. Isolation won’t bother you again. And, most important – you will get to know yourself better.

U-Can

The magical ingredient!

As a human being we all want to excel in our life, be it a better job opportunity, more happiness, better place to live in, keeping fitness at peak and so on. The wish list is indeed a long one and completely personal opinion, but all of these are depending on one vital ingredient.

Instead of going directly to that magical vital ingredient, let’s uncover some other interesting behavior. We are designed in such a way that we require some time for us, which is our own personal time and I call it “metime”. The time used for own contemplation, mediation or even a jog to connect our inner self deeply. This is a must to rejuvenate our self.

Now, coming to the magical ingredient which is indeed very common but sometimes we are not conscious about it, which is “connection”. Why…?  Let’s explore!

In order to excel in a particular area/domain we have to expose our self to that and the best way is to meet people. The ones who are in the same field, the like minded people. The more we interact, discuss and engage our self with someone who is on the same turf the better we become. For example, One is interested to learn a musical instrument. So look for communities near your place, online/offline training and connect to as many as possible. The more we are connected the more we learn! And this can be associated to every sphere of life, be it sports, technology, poetry or even spirituality!

What is your opinion?

U-Can

How to achieve your maximum every day?

We all desire to perform well and give our best every day. How can we achieve it daily? Is it very tough to achieve it? Fortunately, not really 😊, it is indeed very easy and simple. The trick lies solely on one basic routine which we ignore mostly without realizing its intense power.

Did the below comparison help? Yes, it all depends on how we embrace that particular day or I would say every day.

Just after waking up and starting our daily chores lies those moments which conditioned our mind for the day. The very thought of the dreaded meeting or getting late or any other thought which triggers anxiety will stick with the whole day making us tired and drained. Instead spend those special moments showing gratitude, praying for your near and dear ones and thanking the superpower for the fantastic life. This will definitely need a couple of minutes, hence it is wise to prepone the alarm clock to intently follow the rituals rather cutting the rituals for a longer sleep. Though it is very simple yet very powerful, sometimes the finest things can be experienced by doing some simple routine.

U-Can