I was listening to a guided mediation and it was explaining about the effects of detrimental limiting beliefs. Most of us already know this fable but it is worth iterating one more time. Physically we are growing each day but are we taking care of our minds? Ask this question twice before saying a “yes”.
The story goes this, in one of the circuses a calf was born. A very friendly, tiny, and active calf. Most of the time it was tied to a wooden log. As it was very active it tried to free itself from the bond. It tried with all of the energy, but no luck. The log was strong enough to hold the calf. This happened a couple of times and the calf concluded that it cannot unchain on its own.
The baby was growing day after day, its diet increased, it got an elongated truck and slowly it turned into a mature huge elephant. During all this time it was tied to the log for a certain period. Later it was not trying to free itself and believed the conclusion that it cannot unchain on its own.
It accepted that someone has to help to unchain. This is how a limiting belief prohibits us from our growth. What are your limiting beliefs you want to unshackle from? The second-best chance is now as we only live once!
Let us do a simple exercise together to know how much enslaved you actually are. Shall we?
Alright! Let’s divide your brain in 10 sections. And, each section may take any one value out of the below 5 :
J – Joy, M – Misery, A – Anger, F – Fear, S – Suffering
Now, for the sake of the experiment, let’s try some combinations for 3 different types of brains (You might fall into one of these categories, or maybe not. Let’s see!)
Now that we have the sections in place, next, we will try to figure out the proportions of ownership/slavery for these 3 brains.
But, before that – let us settle on the definition of Slavery.
You would agree without a doubt that, if you’re the owner of your own brain (or at least if you think you are), and you’re asked to fill up these 10 sections for yourself – you would fill all of them up with a big “J“.
So, in that case, when you consider yourself as the sole owner of your brain – the best-case scenario for yourself must be J + J + J + …. (10 times) = 10J. Or in other words, the brain in a state of 10J means 0% Slavery – as you are the owner of your own brain, you very naturally will choose to fill up all spaces of your brain with joy and nothing else. So far so good.
Let us analyse the above three brains, and try to figure out the ownership/slavery percentages for each of them.
Ownership(%) for Brain 3 (5J + 2A + F + S + M) = (5J/10J)*100 = 50 => Slavery(%)= 100 – 50 = 50
To put the above math into perspective – if you notice it carefully – as soon as your brain equation has any placeholder other than J(JOY), you’re basically getting enslaved. Agree?
Percentages may vary from person to person, but, essentially, you are being enslaved from the external sources. Because if it isn’t externally stimulated, you would always keep yourself joyful (J). Indeed?
So, we can safely conclude that if you’re getting the feelings of M, A, J, F and/or S, then definitely that isn’t your making. Or in simpler words, anything other than 10J is slavery for that person’s brain.
So, the only question is: “DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A SLAVE ALL YOUR LIFE?”
And, the parameter (we’ll call it as ‘Slavery coefficient’ ($) ) to gauge your affinity towards slavery is to see how often you encounter the feelings other than J.
If you consciously notice $ and see fluctuations in it, you would naturally make serious efforts to take yourself closer and closer to 10J.
Life, at its very core, has always been about a tremendous longing for freedom and boundlessness. You just have to be conscious enough to nudge it in that direction and rest will follow.
Do you feel a weird kind of hollowness in your life? You work very hard with intensity and resilience every day, but still, something doesn’t add up. You feel like you are not delivering to your full potential. We all feel this way but couldn’t know the root cause behind it. Don’t we?
Keep reading further and see for yourself if the argument sheds some light on this subtle paradox.
BOTTOM LINE : If you want to feel complete, resourceful and enriched then find harmony with yourself. It starts from within.
There is no such thing as BAD or GOOD emotions. Emotions are not supposed to be judged. Feel them and accept them with open arms. Your every emotion (guilt, fear, anger, etc.) can be clearly linked to your values [THEY HIGHLIGHT YOUR VALUES].
You must own your emotions, not the other way around. Emotions [are/could] either be uncomfortable or comfortable for you.
If they are uncomfortable, that means the source of that emotion isn’t in harmony with your existing values.
Every emotion either conforms to your values ORacts as a signboard/navigator to your disorientation with your values.
Before we figure out what the difference is, let’s find out what affection really is.
It is something that makes us harder to get unattached from. An uncontrollable pull towards something or someone. And, to attain something or someone, we end up investing everything we own for a person or a thing.
We are always in an illusion that affection is nothing but our intense form of love. Isn’t it right? Don’t we think affection/attraction is the same as Love?
If you think about it more closely, you will know that there is a significant difference between the two.
When there is love for a person – you try to give happiness to that person.
However, when there is affection for a person – you treat the other person as a means for your own happiness.
When there is love for a person – you don’t keep yourself as the center of everything. It is all about the other person.
However, when there is affection for a person – you are the center of all. It is all about you.
When there is love for adesignation or a position – you would work on yourself to deserve that position.
However, when there is affection for a designation or a position – you would be ready to achieve it by any unethical means possible.
When there is love for having a good fortune – you would work hard to get it.
However, when there is affection for having a good fortune – you would try to steal it.
If you have affection for someone, you tend to consider that person as a means for all your happiness. And, when you don’t get that person – your whole life turns upside down. Isn’t it so?
Now that you know the difference, how can you save yourself from affection? Is there a way out?
Yes, there is. Just turn your affection into love. As simple as that. Understand that your own happiness or sadness can’t be based on a person or a thing. Your happiness or sadness is your internal affair. It is the nature of your soul.
Affection always tries to bind you – that is why it is the reason for your sadness. On the other hand, Love offers freedom – that is why it is the basis of happiness. Think about it.
When someone gets something in life be it a good wife/husband, a car or anything of importance, don’t we feel jealous? Yes, of course, we show our happiness to that person, but if we really ask ourselves – don’t you think we get a feeling that we would be far happier if the other person wouldn’t have gotten that thing?
Even though we are well aware of the fact that jealousy is a bad feeling to have, we tend to get sad by someone’s happiness and get happier with someone’s sadness. Don’t we?
So, basically what is this jealousy? How does it eat up our happiness? Also, it isn’t easy to get rid of this feeling, because we don’t get this feeling all the time.
How can we get rid of it then?
The only solution to such problems is to go deeper and do the ‘root cause analysis’.
RCA (Root cause analysis):
Let’s start from the beginning:
What happens when someone gets something? Basically, it enhances the status of that person in society, family, close people, etc. As a result, all of a sudden all eyes (for the time being) get focused on that person. That person starts to get all the attention. Isn’t it so?
If you think about it, the main reason for our sadness is: we feel that our importance is getting deteriorated. And, from here jealously creeps in.
Now, if we dig a little deeper and ask ourselves – why do we feel that we should always be the center of attention? What do we get by being the center of attention? – the answer is: We feel that we matter.Our life is not a waste. We matter for people we love.
We always tend to measure our importance with other’s viewpoints. However, the viewpoint of others towards us is always changeable.
Others’ looking at us is their favor towards us. It’s not our right. When we start getting to feel important from within or when we start enjoying our own life on our own standards, in other words as soon as our heart is filled with self-confidence, jealously runs away.
Conclusion: Jealousy is nothing but the mere evidence of a lack of self-confidence in ourselves.
It was my 2nd tandem jump, but I was fearful. The first one was in Prague and the 2nd one in the Netherlands. Fortunately, the instructor had some time and we were disusing a lot of things related to jump. I couldn’t hold my inquisitiveness and asked a lot of questions instinctively and he responded nicely. The below question was an eye-opener for me and thought to share!
Me: Do you still fear before the jump? Instructor: Yes! (I was puzzled). He waited for a few seconds and elaborated. Once you have fear you keep yourself ready to brace the situation, checking all the gears, hooks, etc. Which is indeed required for a safe jump. He correlated with driving and cycling where we are cautious initially which is needed while making a turn or overtaking. So fear is a form to face the situation in a more effective way.
He said, he is jumping for the last 16 years and as an instructor for last 6 six and still, he fears before the jump.
What is life? How to live a fulfilled life? What to do with our life?
All these questions come to our mind once in a while. We try really hard to live every single day as good as we possibly can. But, after going very far in our life journeys, we look back and notice that we could/would/might have lived better. Once the top priorities of our life don’t really even matter anymore. We analyze and come to the conclusion of the sad truth, which is, we didn’t even concentrate on portions of life which really mattered the most.
Where is the problem?
Let’s try to understand the mechanics of life closely. What are the parameters which govern us all life long?
Below is a compact life formula. Try to fit yourself in this non-linear equation of life and see how you are doing.
H/F: Happiness or Fulfillment
Δ1: Choices in your life made by you
Δ2: Choices in your life made by others on your behalf
n: Comfort zone
Now, in the above formula, as you can see, Happiness or Fulfillment is directly proportional to ‘Money’, ‘Relationships’ and ‘Health’. That means, if we have more money, better relationships ,and good health, our lives will be more fulfilling and happier. Don’t you agree with that? Indeed, it is true.
Furthermore, in the formula, Happiness is inversely proportional to the Difference of ‘Choices made by others for you’ and ‘Choices made by yourself’. Which means, the smaller the difference the greater the happiness. Notice one thing here though. If Δ2>Δ1, the final value of ‘Happiness’ goes to an imaginary value (For those who are not aware, negative values inside a square root result into imaginary values). In other words, you actually didn’t live at all. It was an imaginary or virtual life which you lived. Always try to keep the difference (Δ1-Δ2) as bigger as possible to uplift the Happiness factor.
Another important factor in this Life’s formula is ‘n’ – the comfort zone. The more the value of ‘n’ the lesser the value of Happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Now, the most important parameters of this formula, which no one tells us about and we usually neglect them. Those are:
The value of α is of the order (10^-9), the value of β is of the order (10^6) and the value of γ is of the order (10^9). Now, if you put these values in the formula, you will see that though H/F is directly proportional to money, the value of α is too small. Which means, even if you earn more and more money, the happiness/fulfillment will not be increased by that order – because of the very low value of α. On the other hand, the value of β is high and hence ‘Better relationships’ add up to a higher level of Happiness/fulfillment. The value of γ is even higher. Which tells us that, the better the health, the most positive impact it will produce on our happiness and fulfillment.
Conclusion: We tend to notice only the variants – m, R and H. But, key to highly fulfilling and enormously happy life is to give utmost importance to the variants α, β and γ together with other factors such as n and (Δ1-Δ2).
Essentially, there are two types of people in the universe.
Type 1: They are too sweet and awesomly innocent. They believe in what is told to them without posing any questions. For them, it is like – why even bother.
Type 2: They look for evidence in everything they hear. They don’t stick to a side. These are the people who play a role in taking the human race forward. This world as you know it needs these people more than ever before.
Imagine what would have happened if there were no Type 2 people around to ask these great scientists the hard questions about their theories. We owe a lot to them.
To understand this better, keep reading further. Read closely the ideas and thoughts of these famous figures and how insanely wrong they were in understanding this world.
ARISTOTLE (384 BC – 322 BC)
He believed in a geocentric world. He thought that the earth sits at the center of the cosmos: the sun, moon, planets, and stars, embedded in crystalline spheres, revolve around it. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
NICOLAUS COPERNICUS (1473 – 1543)
He thought that the planets orbited the Sun, and that the Moon orbited Earth. The Sun, in the center of the universe, did not move, nor did the stars.
Copernicus was correct about some things but wrong about others. The Sun is not in the center of the universe, and it does move, and so do the stars. Also, both Copernicus and Ptolemy thought the orbits of the planets were circular, but we now know they are elliptical.
ISAAC NEWTON (1643 – 1727)
He was wrong about what caused gravity. He thought gravity was some type of universal pulling force that held everything together and was just part of the way things worked in the universe. He was a mathematical genius and could explain all other scientific aspects of gravity with phenomenal precision, but not what caused it. He invented something called gravitational pull.
In 1915, Albert Einstein published his Theory of
General Relativity which explained that gravity was caused by the warping
of space around massive objects. Space actually curved around these objects in
space. We are being pushed down to the Earth by the curved space, not
pulled down as Newton explained. Einstein’s theory was proven in 1919 and again
in 1921 with the help of the great astrologist, mathematician and physicist,
Arthur Eddington. It has since been proven many times.
ALBERT EINSTEIN (1879 – 1955)
He published his Theory of General Relativity, but in order to get the math right, Einstein had to create a new constant number (an unchanging value, like ‘pi’ or ‘e’) and stick it inside his general relativity equations to balance them. He called it the “cosmological constant,” and it helped the equations account for the unchanging nature of the universe.But, we all know today that the universe is expanding and not static.
If Copernicus hadn’t doubted the theories of Aristotle, or if Newton hadn’t doubted the theories of Copernicus, or if Einstein hadn’t doubted the theories of Newton, we would still be living in the world with the earth as it’s center and the sun revolving around it and with bunch of Type 1 people around us.
Because these scientists were all Type 2 people, they dared to call the given into question.
It is your choice. Decide your own type. We have tons of Type 1 people already. Type 2 people are rare and scarce. Try to be one of them and you will thank me later.