Before we figure out what the difference is, let’s find out what affection really is.
It is something that makes us harder to get unattached from. An uncontrollable pull towards something or someone. And, to attain something or someone, we end up investing everything we own for a person or a thing.
We are always in an illusion that affection is nothing but our intense form of love. Isn’t it right? Don’t we think affection/attraction is the same as Love?
If you think about it more closely, you will know that there is a significant difference between the two.
When there is love for a person – you try to give happiness to that person.
However, when there is affection for a person – you treat the other person as a means for your own happiness.
When there is love for a person – you don’t keep yourself as the center of everything. It is all about the other person.
However, when there is affection for a person – you are the center of all. It is all about you.
When there is love for adesignation or a position – you would work on yourself to deserve that position.
However, when there is affection for a designation or a position – you would be ready to achieve it by any unethical means possible.
When there is love for having a good fortune – you would work hard to get it.
However, when there is affection for having a good fortune – you would try to steal it.
If you have affection for someone, you tend to consider that person as a means for all your happiness. And, when you don’t get that person – your whole life turns upside down. Isn’t it so?
Now that you know the difference, how can you save yourself from affection? Is there a way out?
Yes, there is. Just turn your affection into love. As simple as that. Understand that your own happiness or sadness can’t be based on a person or a thing. Your happiness or sadness is your internal affair. It is the nature of your soul.
Affection always tries to bind you – that is why it is the reason for your sadness. On the other hand, Love offers freedom – that is why it is the basis of happiness. Think about it.
When someone gets something in life be it a good wife/husband, a car or anything of importance, don’t we feel jealous? Yes, of course, we show our happiness to that person, but if we really ask ourselves – don’t you think we get a feeling that we would be far happier if the other person wouldn’t have gotten that thing?
Even though we are well aware of the fact that jealousy is a bad feeling to have, we tend to get sad by someone’s happiness and get happier with someone’s sadness. Don’t we?
So, basically what is this jealousy? How does it eat up our happiness? Also, it isn’t easy to get rid of this feeling, because we don’t get this feeling all the time.
How can we get rid of it then?
The only solution to such problems is to go deeper and do the ‘root cause analysis’.
RCA (Root cause analysis):
Let’s start from the beginning:
What happens when someone gets something? Basically, it enhances the status of that person in society, family, close people, etc. As a result, all of a sudden all eyes (for the time being) get focused on that person. That person starts to get all the attention. Isn’t it so?
If you think about it, the main reason for our sadness is: we feel that our importance is getting deteriorated. And, from here jealously creeps in.
Now, if we dig a little deeper and ask ourselves – why do we feel that we should always be the center of attention? What do we get by being the center of attention? – the answer is: We feel that we matter.Our life is not a waste. We matter for people we love.
We always tend to measure our importance with other’s viewpoints. However, the viewpoint of others towards us is always changeable.
Others’ looking at us is their favor towards us. It’s not our right. When we start getting to feel important from within or when we start enjoying our own life on our own standards, in other words as soon as our heart is filled with self-confidence, jealously runs away.
Conclusion: Jealousy is nothing but the mere evidence of a lack of self-confidence in ourselves.